“To You Only”

I’ve tried to imagine standing in your glorious presence.

But then I’m not standing at all, because my legs tremble as my body throws itself down, prostrate in worship.

I hear the rising and falling of angelic voices, a symphony of Hallelujahs echoing all around me.

Trumpets sound and a victorious thunder cracks and ripples across the Heavens.

And through the brightest, whitest light color floods forth, like opened drapes of gold dust billowing in and filling the air.

Commanding attention, your royal presence is triumphant and terrible…and yet gentle.

You are the Lion and the Lamb.

You are so beautiful, Lord, that it hurts. And all I can do is weep.

You gave me breath and you take it away.

You’re intoxicating.

In you, Lord I can really be seen and known, and how precious that is to me, for your eyes see into my heart.

In you I am complete.

My heart reaches towards you, like a baby reaches for its mother, swelling and softening with love as you gently bend down and hold me in your hands.

Can this be real?

I’ve daydreamed about this touch and I’ve felt it in small and precious doses in my life. It is more tender than any other.

With compassionate eyes, you examine me and delicately peel back the layers of my pride, of my doubt, my guilt, my fear and even terror.

Oh, my wearied mind.

You caress my hair and stroke my head and it’s all I’ve ever needed.

I grab a hold of your hand.

Your soothing hands heal me as they touch.

And “like a child is silent with his mother, so is my soul with you”, Psalm 131:2.

When I look up at you, time stands still.

Quietly and intently beholding your face, you feel like home.

You were home all along.

I am your little girl and my spirit belongs here, together with you.

We can never be torn apart.

And now I can’t hear anything anymore.

Everything else just fades away like a distant memory.

Melting one-by-one my cares drop to the floor, as if splashing then disappearing forever.

Nothing else matters now.

It’s just you and me.

“To you only, O Lord, do I lift up my soul”, Psalm 25:1.